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Mothers & Daughters & Weddings…
The bride/mother of the bride relationship has always been a confusing one to me. Sometimes I meet the most amazing brides who have the most amazing supportive mothers. Then there are other times when I meet a really nice bride who has a wacky mother. Over the years I’ve tried to figure this relationship out. I watch as I work, I listen as I go and I’m still not sure I truly understand the dynamics of this complicated relationship.
I recall one incident where I had just finished the bride’s hair updo. We had already had our very successful trial and this was her wedding day. She was quite specific on the updo she wanted and when it was complete, she was glowing with happiness. I mean really thrilled! Her friends were all raving about her hair and giving her kisses and hugs and she was almost giddy with excitement.
Then enters the mother of the bride…(dum da da dum….)
Bride: “Mom, look at my hair! Don’t you love it?” 😛
Mom: Looking sour and overall bitter about life “Oh, is that what you like? It’s OK I guess” 😈
I literally saw my brides face turn from gleeful and excited to hurt and confused. Her mother ended up sitting in a corner and pouting the rest of the morning. I think she was upset because her daughter chose a style that she didn’t like. For the rest of the morning, we all kept trying to help the bride but she ended up spending more time worrying about her mother being miserable than her own happiness. Her bridesmaids tried to reassure her, I tried to reassure her, my team tried to reassure her but it was obvious that her mother’s opinion carried more weight than it should have. I never saw that giddy excitement come back.
Thinking about having your mom at your trial? Read this! Should My Mom Be Present At My Trial?
With some brides it seems really important to have their mother’s approval for just about everything. With other brides, they argue with their mothers on their wedding day (and even at their trial!) trying to make a point! “It’s not about YOU today mom, it’s about ME!”
Vicki’s advice….you understand your relationship with your mother better than anyone else does. Don’t be one of the many brides I meet that have “issues” with their mom on their wedding day. Either sort them out before your big day so that you limit your stress or only include your mother in your pre-wedding day activities (or wedding morning activities) if she’s supportive of you and your choices. Keep her far away if she’s not! And most importantly my brides to be….make yourself happy first!
Enough drama already! Brides Take Back Your Control!
OK, brides to be…what about you? Have you any stories to share about your mother or mother in law woes? How have you dealt with them so far? Let us know in the comments below.